Are you really a man? (apparently, only a man could possibly find raw, explicit sex hot—who knew?)

   No, I’m not a man. In fact, I’m a wife and mother, and a real girly-girl, too. But for those of you who would like to think of me as a man, go ahead. You can call me Lawrence.

   Was PASSION really written by some other author using the name Lisa Valdez? (those who speculate about this believe the voice of the author—whomever she is—is very familiar to them.)

   Not only did I, Lisa Valdez, really write PASSION, but Lisa Valdez is my real name. I’m proud of my work and never considered using a pseudonym. But maybe I should have. Let’s see, if I had one I think it would be Lauraluscious Voldemort—oh, wait, one of those is already taken—um, Lauraluscious Valdalicious! Oh, yeah, that’s it.

   Was PASSION really written by a secret syndicate of known authors who decided to do it as a lark, but now can’t agree about how to write PATIENCE? (apparently, this is what published authors do in their prodigious amounts of spare time.)

   No, PASSION was written by little ol’ me, all by myself. And I wrote PATIENCE by myself too (though I did argue with myself about it quite a lot). But maybe for PRIMROSE, I’ll give Robin, Cheryl, Emma and Bertrice a call. Wow, that’d be some book, wouldn’t it?

   Is it true that Lisa Valdez was killed in a terrible car crash and her publisher is trying to find someone who can finish PATIENCE? (wow)

   No, I’m not dead.

   Is it true that your publisher kept canceling the release of PATIENCE in order to build up reader expectation? (apparently my publisher would rather annoy readers than sell them books.)

   No, my publisher had nothing to do with the delay of PATIENCE’s release. That, also, was all me—I mean, I’m perfectly capable of annoying readers all on my own. Just kidding. I hate that I was so annoying. If it’s any consolation to any of you, I annoyed myself no end.

   Is it true that all the flack you got after PASSION gave you a nervous breakdown? (and that for the past four years you were in an asylum, where you roamed the halls scribbling multiple versions of PATIENCE on the walls—okay, I made that part up.)

   No, I didn’t have a nervous breakdown. Though, now that I think about it, that might have been a great way to get uninterrupted writing time in during what has been the busiest, most disruptive, four years of my life.

   Is the picture on your web-site really just some model? (I think this goes along with the speculation that I’m actually a man.)

   No, that’s really me. But maybe now that I’m thinking of changing my name to Lauralucious Valdalicious, I’ll get some model to pose for me as well. Or, I know, I’ll have a computer composite made where I combine the features of other published authors into some new face! Yeah! I mean, if you’re going to fake it, you might as well go all the way.